


The Bottom of the Pool

by jamwrites



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, College, Crushes, Gay, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Male Character, Lesbian Allura (Voltron), M/M, PINING KEITH, POV Keith (Voltron), Relationship Advice, Underage Drinking, college party, klance, klangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 19:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12417009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamwrites/pseuds/jamwrites
Summary: Keith finds himself alone at a pool with nothing to his name but a crush, some hurt feelings, and one really awesome friend.





	The Bottom of the Pool

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on some Real Life Events that happened to me recently. I just needed to get this fic out of my head as a way of dealing with all these dumb emotions. Sorry. Sort of a spiritual successor to "Confessions", my other Keith and Allura bonding fic.

The water felt good on Keith’s feet.

  
He sighed as he eased himself into the pool, watching as his body disappeared beneath the steaming surface. The party hadn’t quite migrated from the house to the backyard yet, or nobody wanted to drink outside on account of it being October, so for now he was alone. There was no towel to dry off with. Keith wasn’t even wearing a swimsuit, just his underwear, but he didn’t care. At this exact moment, he just needed to get out. And away.

  
His head sank beneath the surface. Silence.

  
Keith had never been any good at opening his eyes in the water, so instead he released some air from his lungs, just enough to allow him to sink a couple of feet to bottom. There he sat in blessed darkness, completely and utterly alone with the ache in his chest. It was nice down here. Away from the cloying stench of beer and sweat and the persistent thrum of too-loud music and swaying bodies and Lance--

  
No.

  
He vaporized the thought, imagined holding a laser gun to its head and pulling the trigger. There would be no thinking about that down here. Not right now. Down here was his escape.

  
But thoughts crowded his mind like angry strangers, thumping softly against the insides of his skull, all wanting to be heard, acknowledged, fed. There had been the throb of music and of his own heartbeat, a dry taste in his mouth despite the cup of beer he held, the fairy-light twinkle of cheap Christmas lights strung about the frathouse. Keith had never been one for parties, but Lance had specifically invited him. Keith had debated with himself whether or not to go for days. Only after reaching out to his friend Allura for advice had he been pushed to a decision; he would go, but only if she agreed to come with him.

  
“Frat parties aren’t usually my first choice for a night,” Allura had said over a mountain of Organic Chem homework.

  
Keith rolled his eyes. “You’re the one who wants me to make a move on Lance. Wouldn’t you say getting invited to a party by the boy I--” here he waved his hand in a nondescript gesture and lowered his voice, “is a good sign?”

  
So they had come. Together. And then drinking and dancing and people touching and Keith seeing Lance, Lance in a football jersey cutoff and baggy joggers looking like a perfect frat boy asshole who Keith wanted to--what? Did he have a crush on him? Not really. It was more of like the beginning of the beginning of a crush. Keith had a stats class with Lance. They talked a couple of times a week. Keith thought Lance was cute, and that was all.

  
Until tonight.

  
Until just now.

  
Keith’s lungs weren’t happy. Somewhat reluctantly he pushed off the pool bottom and rose to the surface like a hot air balloon. A wall of sound and the delicious cool night air slapped him across his wet cheek cheek. If only he could stay out here forever.

  
He back floated. Stared at the stars. Keith had been working his way through the party, trying to find Lance while Allura had disappeared to stash their coats safely. And after weaseling his way through person after person, all of whom somehow knew how to dance to the songs and to smile and laugh at the right times, Keith had caught a glimpse of him: Lance, tall and cute and pretty drunk, grinding on another guy. Not only that, but at a lapse in the music Lance twisted and took the guy’s jaw in his hand and started making out with him, making out in a way that was somehow luxurious.

  
Angry tears had started prickling at Keith’s eyes. Something black twisted in his abdomen. He had thought he didn’t have a crush on Lance. He didn’t, right? So then why had it hurt so much?

  
“Hello.”

  
Keith had been floating for so long he didn’t even realize he had come to the edge of the pool, and there was someone sitting next to him, feet dipping in the water.

  
“Hey Allura.”

  
“Is everything alright?”

  
“Sort of.” Keith sighed, his breath joining the fog lifting like spirits off the water. “I’m not not okay, but.”

  
“I saw Lance in there after you left. He seemed pretty occupied”

  
“Yeah. That.”

  
Allura bent down and cupped Keith’s head in her hands. He looked up at her. Though she was upside down in his vision, her expression was unmistakable. “He’s just a stupid boy.”

  
“I know. But…” How did he put this in words? Keith righted himself in the water, grabbed the edge of the pool, and hauled himself out. He sat dripping next to Allura on the now-wet concrete. Goosepimples raced to cover his back and arms. “But I’ve never dated anyone before. And...I mean, Allura, I’m turning twenty next month. I guess I just thought that when I went to college, things would be different you know? That there would be--there would be plenty of guys. People who would want to...to date me.”

  
“Keith, anyone would be lucky to have you.”

  
“Yeah, well, where are they then?” The words came out harsher than he wanted. “Sorry. But, I go to the meetings, Allura. I feel like I know every gay guy on campus already. It’s not a big school. And they’re all taken or non-existent. And I know twenty is young, but what if it just...what if I get to be thirty? Forty?” There they were, those angry tears again. Building in his eyes until his eyes couldn’t hold them and they spilled down his face. “I’m tired of waiting. I was told my whole life that college was this place where I could finally find people like me, and it just isn’t. And I just really thought that Lance liked me.”  
His voice finally broke. Keith put his head on Allura’s shoulder, and this was such a stupid thing to be crying about, he barely knew Lance, but he was so goddamn sick of getting his hopes up, of trying to search the faces of strangers he passed on campus: are you gay too? How could I ever tell?  
And though it was true that Keith thrived off being by himself, he was being consumed by being this alone.

  
“Screw them.” Allura put an arm around his shoulder, pulling him in closer. “Screw everyone, Keith. They do not get to make you feel like this, this worrying about being twenty, as if that’s old. And if it doesn’t happen when you’re twenty, then you’ll look forward to being thirty. And if it doesn’t happen then, you’ll be happy when it does at forty. And if you are in a nursing home and meet the love of your life, then I will gladly attend your marriage. And if you die, you will do so surrounded by friends you have put all the energy in your life into making.” Allura twisted so they were looking at each other head-on. “And I refuse to allow one stupid boy to ruin you like this. Because you are Keith, and you are gay, both of which give you remarkable strength. Strength enough to resist one more half-crush in a long line of them. Now, repeat after me: we do not fall for straight boys.” It was a mantra, the thing Allura taught Keith to chant to himself whenever he came to her with heartsickness.

  
“We do not fall for straight boys,” Keith repeated, and felt a little better. “But Lance isn’t straight.”

  
She laughed. “I know, but it feels good to say it anyway. It gives me power.”

  
“Would you ever fall for a boy? I mean, I know girls are more your thing…”

  
“Well, I fell for you, didn’t I?” They smiled at each other, then stared at the water, glowing with the fluorescent lights built into its sides.

  
“Do you want go home?”

  
Keith looked at her. Felt the dull pain in his chest and felt it start to dissolve. He accepted her hand up to his feet, dripping wet and shivering in the dark.  
“Yeah. Let’s go.”

  
So they went. Collected Keith’s clothes, slipped into the bathroom to steal a towel, and then out through the backyard gate. There was no bumping into Lance, no magical apology or kiss, no nothing. Tonight, like all the long nights of Keith’s life, wasn’t one where magic was destined to happen. But padding along through the alternating glow of the street lamps, Keith could almost, almost, forget about the whole short fiasco of the party. Forget, that was, until his phone chimed.

  
He checked it. Raised an eyebrow. “It’s a snap from Lance.”

  
Allura said nothing for a long time. Just kept walking, arms swaying thoughtfully by her side.

  
“He is pretty cute,” she said. Looked at out of the corner of his eye him and waggled an eyebrow.

  
“Yeah, but. He’ll still be cute tomorrow.” Keith clicked his phone back asleep. He didn’t want to miss this. This time with Allura, with the rest of the wonderfully alive and asleep night. He didn’t want to miss this lightness in his chest. If Lance happened, great. But if he didn’t, then that was okay too. There would be other days. Other years of Keiths’ life. This was a hurt he could learn to live with, one that he had been learning to live with ever since high school. This wasn’t him feeling bad for himself; he had definitely been there before. No, this was him being okay with it, because that was the only option.

  
So they walked on together. Their feet left wet prints on the concrete. Keith’s skin had dried enough to put clothes on, so he laughed while Allura tried to help slip his shirt over his head, and laughed at the photo of his wild hair she took, and that laughter felt so damn good.


End file.
